A weeping Scooter cries "Mom!"
Victoria Toensing screams "It's not fair!"
Barbara Comstock heard muttering "After all the money we spent!"
Scooter's attorneys invoke everything except the Chewbacca defense.
Nation's children who love Scooter are all put on suicide watch.
In solidarity, the western aspens refuse to turn . . .
Divinely penned by TBogg