Wednesday, September 30, 2009

You Know That Society Is Doomed . . .

When Rush Limbaugh blames President Obama for a bunch of white kids beating up a black kid on a school bus. (As if that wasn't bad enough, the story wasn't true.)

When drug cops have a blast playing Wii in a home that they busted.

When a pilot is arrested for stalking an ex-girlfriend by flying over her house.

When robbers interrupt a couple's sexcapade in a dumpster.

When a teenager uses a page from his Bible to roll a joint. (Giving new meaning to the term holy roller.)

When brazen diners are stealing restaurants' decors.

When firefighters run over the victim they were dispatched to help.

When a police chief in a stocking mask prompts a high school lockdown.

When the First Lady is criticized for saying that health-care reform is a women's issue. (Damned right it is if your insurer says that having a womb is a pre-existing condition.)

When a high school teacher gives her students booze and pot for doing chores for her.

When a coach is shot by one of his players during an argument over his low batting average.

When a navy admiral says women should be able to serve on submarines.

When a man is pushed into a window and falls 20 feet to his death while
re-enacting a move from Ultimate Fighting Championship. (If you think that alcohol was involved, you're right.)

When a man is arrested for trading his father's Lincoln for $50 worth of crack.

When environmental groups complain that people are too nice to their bottoms.

When a gay bar demands that the ID cards of crossdressers match their "gender presentation."

When the black Republican party chairman accuses the black
president of trying to get the beyond piss poor New York governor to not run for re-election because he's black. (Cue "Calling the Kettle Black" jokes.)

When a boy fakes a kidnapping to avoid bringing home bad grades.

When nearly two-thirds of those surveyed in a poll think Republicans are opposing Obama on health-care reform for political reasons but nearly two-thirds also think Democrats shouldn't pass reform without Republican support.

When men are arrested for showing porn on the display TV sets at a Wal-Mart.

When men toss a beer keg out of a car during a 120 mile per hour police chase. (It was empty. Nobody got hurt.)

When a man is arrested after firing a cannonball through a neighbor's house.

When a Faux News talk-show host throws a plastic frog into a pot of boiling water to prove that John McCain would have slowly boiled us alive while Obama's agenda is so hot that we jump out of the pot.

When a cat is found wrapped in duct tape.

When students use a samurai sword to fend off an attacker. (They did such a good job that he's dead.)

Click here, here, here, here, here, here and here for previous installments of You Know Society Is Doomed. Hat tip to Obscure Store for many of the links.

1 comment:

Stella Plo0mz said...

Good one!