When Republicans traditionally allergic to any and all entitlement programs promise to defend old folks from any Medicare cuts.
When boy-toy Actor Ashton Kutcher is taken seriously for his views about health-care reform. (He doesn't want to pay for triple-bypass surgery for fat slobs who eat fast food all day.)
When Bob Dylan records an album of Christmas songs.
When police seek a black Bentley after a road-rage attack at a Chick-Fil-A. (Obligatory Customers Doing Dumb Things article.)
When the president delivers Ramadan greetings to the Arab world.
When a murdered model is identified through her breast implants.
When commentators have to compare CIA interrogators to Gestapo thugs to try to make them look good.
When a police officer is charged after posing as a twin and having sex with a woman. (Obligatory Cops Doing Dumb Things article.)
When an animal-cruelty hater's dog dies after she leaves it in her hot car.
When a man is charged after firing a cannonball through a neighbor's house.
When a prep school rejects a straight-A student over having a flu bug in the 7th grade.
When a man firing his rifle at dragonflies shoots his buddy in the head. (Obligatory Doing Dumb Things With Guns article.)
When you can only take one of your pets with you when the Rapture occurs.
When a Cracker Barrel customer attacks a clerk with a Slim Jim.
When 16 percent of birthers actually support Barack Obama.
When a certain bad-mannered former governor keeps being a no-show at events to which she had been invited to speak. (Obligatory Sarah Palin Doing Dumb Things article.)
When an official loses his $149,000 a year county job after telling a golfer that he'd show her his tee size.
When the Burt Reynolds Museum is faced with closure.
When the teevee news channels refuse to cover town-hall meetings unless somebody bites off somebody's finger or something.
When a man finds the remains of a frog (or maybe a toad) in a Pepsi can. (Obligatory Weird Things Found in Darnedest Places article.)
When a dad pulls a knife on his seven-year-old daughter for not finishing her homework.
When a man tells a judge that he robbed a bank to get away from his abusive wife.
When cocaine dealers cut their wares with stuff that's bad for you.
When a 9-year-old girl leads police on a high-speed chase in her grandparents' car. (Obligatory Doing Dumb Things With Cars article.)
When a pie store endorsed by Oprah doesn't take credit cards.
When antidepressant sales are good for the economy.
When the president's plans to address schoolchildren about taking personal responsibility is branded socialist indoctrination.
When a woman uses a cigarette lighter to check the level of the gas in a fuel container. (Obligatory Doing Dumb Things In General article.)
Click here, here, here, here, here and here for previous installments of You Know Society Is Doomed. Hat tip to Obscure Store for many of the links.