You Know That Society Is Doomed . . .

When Big Oil continues to resist spill safety reforms in the wake of the worst environmental disaster in U.S. history.

When it is revealed that Neanderthals were Socialists.

When a kid with bloodshot eyes is suspended from school on suspicion of pot smoking but actually had been crying because his father had died.

When a canal in New York City tests positive for gonorrhea.

When the federal budget deficit is the greatest national security threat.

When Lady Gaga is considered a better politician than Barack Obama.

When for-profit hospitals perform cesarean sections at a higher rate than nonprofit hospitals.

When a rug in the Oval Office gets history wrong.

When a man is cited for growing too many vegetables.

When a Senate candidate calls for reviewing the minimum wage but doesn't even know what it is.

When a hotel on the Las Vegas Strip acts as a "death ray."

When Sarah Palin is compared to George McGovern.

When a man accussed of strangling his wife claims insanity because of a high caffeine intake.

When New York Yankees caps are popular among criminals.

When touching yourself makes you an enemy of freedom.

When 75 adults are involved in a huge, bloody brawl at a three-year-old's birthday party.

When half the bleachers are stolen from a public park. And the other half disappear the next day.

When the Blockbuster chain is bankrupt.

When a stepfather uses a BB gun to motivate teens at a football practice.

When a candidate for the U.S. Senate has a dead wrestler problem.

When it is claimed that the feds have the right of eminent domain on all buildings touched by the dust from the World Trade Center on 9/11.

When an execution is canceled because the use-by date on the lethal injection drugs had expired.

When a state district attorney invites a date to an autopsy.

When a man lying naked on a beach tells police that he's Brad Pitt.

When the economy is so bad that people aren't even buying weapons.

When every major contender for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination who isn't currently holding office and isn't named Mitt Romney is a paid contributor for Fox News.

Click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here for previous installments of You Know Society Is Doomed.