You Know That Society Is Doomed . . .

When Osama bin Laden is allowed to rewrite the U.S. Constitution.

When a man fatally stabs a woman and then torments her family by using her cellphone to send text messages that she was still alive.

When the true answer is not the right answer.

When the CEO of Hooters is shocked that people believe that his woman employees are exploited.

When an apartment manager beats a tenant to death for locking himself out.

When a call for bipartisanship is seen as a demand for surrender.

When a football stadium has had as many names as Elizabeth Taylor had husbands.

When a whites-only basketball league is organized.

When White House officials refuse to give a straight answer when asked what motivates terrorists.

When 12 year olds are threatened with prison time for acting like 12 year olds.

When a philandering pol makes his wife agree to remove the "promise to be faithful" part of their wedding vows.

When credit card debt is decreasing.

When meetings of the Recovery Act Transparency and Accountability Board are closed to the press.

When the owner of a bowling alley burns down his competition.

When the head of a state anti-gambling task force wins a jackpot in a neighboring state that allows gambling.

When Air America declares bankruptcy and stops broadcasting.

When a state senator proposes eliminating the senior year of high school in order to close a budget gap.

When a city's post-Super Bowl celebration is tame.

When flashcards are considered to be a terrorist threat.

When a disabled four-year-old is ordered to remove his leg braces and walk through an airport metal detector.

When people oppose same-sex marriage because men can't breast feed.

When the White House reaches out to Cuba.

When a ho-hum British movie about Charles Darwin fails to find a U.S. distributor because it's considered too controversial for religious America.

When a pack of vicious wild beagles attacks the residents of an affluent Long Island community.

When Republicans break with the judgments of the military establishment.

When a college basketball coach compares a four-point loss to the earthquake in Haiti.

When a restaurant encourages patrons to do the wild thing in their bathrooms.

When people oppose a plan to attack childhood obesity because it makes fat kids feel bad about themselves.

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