The winners are:
1. coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.The Post also once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
2. flabbergasted (adj.): Appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly (adj.): Impotent.
6. negligent (adj.): Describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle (n.): Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle (n.): A humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon (n): A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster (n.): A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): (Back by popular demand.) The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The winners are:
1. bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.And the pick of the literature:
2. foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.
9. karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
16. ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a--hole.