I saw an old friend the other day for the first time in about 10 years. At age 35, she was prematurely gray but her shoulder-length hair was beautiful. At age 45, I was chagrined to see that she had become a redhead, but now at age 55 the gray had grown back out. Crow's feet 
and other signs of aging notwithstanding, she was more beautiful than ever, and I told her so.
My friend blushed and explained that her hair-dying experiment had made her realize that any color other than her God-given gray simply wasn't her.
While that was a private decision for a private person, growing older without cosmetic enhancements must be a difficult for many image-conscious public women to do. This is why I salute Caroline Kennedy's decision to go with the natural flow as opposed to, say, Maria Shriver's decision to throw herself at the mercy of plastic surgery.
Chick-lit writer and Guardian columnist Tracy Quan is not so sanguine in "Judging Caroline Kennedy By Her Looks," a musing at Comment Is Free that is infuriating but thought provoking.
Quan pretends to be all 
confoozled about why pundits nattered endlessly about the looks, figures and wardrobes of Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton last year but are pretty much hands off when it comes to Kennedy.
Anything in the service of cranking out a provocative column, I suppose, but the answer is simple: Palin made a conscious decision to look "hot," as I wrote here, Clinton did not try to hide signs of wear and tear, as I wrote here, and Kennedy gets a pass because of who she is.
It would be easy to say that the criticism of the appearance of Palin and Clinton by a substantially male punditocracy during the primary and presidential campaigns betrayed a double standard, but it was more of a case of sex objectification being a universal wrench that we guys adjust in many 
different ways.
Hence, Palin detractors beat up on her for trading on her looks and yammered about her expensive wardrobe, while Clinton detractors delighted in pointing out that she looked like her campaign bus had run over her because she did not try to hide her age.
For the record, this sixtysomething bald guy with a paunch is madly in love with a woman who becomes more beautiful by the year because she not only is physically attractive but is beautiful inside, as well.
Palin, on the other hand, is a turnoff. You see, I've never been attracted to women who use their sexuality as a cudgel, and make no mistake about it: This woman was not being used 
by the men who ran the McCain campaign. If anything, she used them.
Clinton is not my type, either. I happen to have been in the same room with her a few times. She not only isn't a classic beauty, which wouldn't have kept me from voting for her had see won the nomination, but she doesn't project an inner beauty, which also wouldn't have kept me from voting for her but is a disqualifier in my own beauty book.
Where Quan infuriates is her own crass objectification of Kennedy, which probably was fine tuned by her being a prostitute before she took up the pen and began writing about sex instead of selling it.
Quan's objectification goes something like this:
I admire Kennedy for living a beauty salon-free existence, but as a child of Camelot, let alone the daughter of Jackie O and now a political candidate, as well, she needs to take her appearance more seriously. In other words, it's time to deal with the hair and wrinkles, hon.
Top photograph by Todd Heisler/The New York Times
2 comments:
It seems to me that Caroline Kennedy's focus is on more important matters -- both inner and societal -- than chasing after the fountain of youth. That's refreshing -- and at least among the more public and "famous" people in the world, an increasing rarity -- to see someone actually becoming an elder, and not hiding behind all the masks and "enhancements" of cosmetic surgery and whatever else is being sold as "instant youth." I'm about to turn 50, and as harsh as the image is sometimes in the mirror (I really started noticing a shift after I turned 48), I have absolutely no interest in messing with the body that Life has given me. The basics -- sleep, good food & water, a good balance between movement and quiet, meaningful work, and most of all, loving bonds with my dear ones -- all take care of me well enough. I simply don't have the inclination or the income for any "work"!
I admire women like Caroline Kennedy and Hillary Clinton (and men as well) who don't muck about with their faces and bodies ... there's something integrous in my eye about a person who ages in a natural fashion -- It's increasingly rare these days ...
My husband I saw a film a few nights ago -- "Last Chance Harvey," which stars Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson. I was *thrilled* to see these two great actors, both well into middle age (and in Dustin's case, even early 60s?), who still have their real faces on! It was a relief, too, because these actors naturally portray all the nuances of emotion, whereas an actor whose face has been stretched every which-way becomes almost devoid of expression. What good is that for the craft?
I think, too, in Caroline Kennedy's face ... we can see all that her life has marked her with. We know that she has suffered some excruciating losses -- those kinds of experiences can't help but show on a face over time ...
Thanks Shaun for such a thought-provoking post :-)
Insider stuff!! ...the prossy who took up the pen... :-)
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