When the Republican leading the Sonya Sotomayor "is soft on racial bias" charge is himself a flaming racist.
When a man checks his bank balance and finds he's $23 quadrillion in debt. Plus a $15 overdraft fee.
When getting a blow job in the Oval Office is really bad but letting Bush administration perps skate for crimes is okay.
When the Pentagon may ban tobacco use in the armed services.
When Newt Gingrich is the smartest person in the Republican Party.
When a family sues a genie whom they say has been harassing them for two years.
When a certain governor thinks that she's "totally incognito" when she's our running because she doesn't wear makeup.
When a family can no longer afford its million-light Christmas display.
When Congress passes a$787 billion economic stimulus bill which hardly anyone read and may be poised to pass another -- which hardly anyone will read.
When a father asks his fifth-grade son to help him dump a hooker's body.
When the cable news stations provide wall-to-wall coverage of The Gloved One's memorial service and ignore the bloody war in Afghanistan.
When a 75-year-old woman beats a fawn to death for sitting on her flower bed.
When the federal budget deficit tops $1 trillion.
When a woman is ticketed for calling 9-1-1 to report cows on the loose.
When President Obama makes another great speech about health-care reform but nothing happens.
When a cop quits after admitting that he slashed a homeless man's bicycle tire.
When a woman who had a baby with a 13-year-old boy is pregnant again. By him.
When a crossing-dressing clown robs a liquor store at gunpoint.
When a woman is hit by a train after lying on the tracks "to clear her mind."
When some idiot puts marijuana and cocaine in a drive-through bank cannister along with a $200 deposit.
When a state park manager is fired for sexually harassing a mermaid.
When a cat is "jailed" twice in two years for attacking dogs.
When a woman accidentally shoots her husband dead during "dirty cowboy" foreplay in bed.
When a robber gives up because a store clerk that speaks almost no English can't understand his demands.
When serious people are falling in love with France again.