Thursday, July 26, 2018

The Totally Unexpected: What May It Take To Demolish The Trump 'Presidency'

Apologies for the crudeness of the analogy, but if you think of Donald Trump as two pounds of shit in a one-pound bag, it is difficult to escape the conclusion that sooner or later the bag has to burst.  The question is when and because of what.  Robert Mueller?  Michael Cohen?   Stormy Daniels?  Or something Totally Unexpected? 
I'm casting my vote for Totally Unexpected. 
Trump's high wire survival act in the face of the endless waves of scandal that would have felled many a mere mortal would seem to be gravity defying, and the lifespan of your average con man typically is not long. 
Indeed, Trump believes he can defy the laws of nature -- as he routinely defies temporal laws like the rule of law.  As he boasted during the 2016 campaign, "I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody" and not "lose any voters."  This braggadocio stems from being a malignant narcissist who believes the earth, moon and stars revolve around him.  Since only Donald Trump is up to the task, who but Donald Trump can Make America Great Again? 
But just as that bag will burst, the law of gravity has not been repealed and Trump's hard landing will be a thing of beauty.  As well as a joy forever. 
What qualifies as Totally Unexpected? 
If I knew (and I'll try to take a stab at the concept in a moment), then it wouldn't be totally unexpected.  I admit that a feeling of desperation is driving this vague proposition.  I mean, how much longer can we continue to live in a state of high anxiety when each new Trumpian low punches us in the national gut as our values are desecrated and our fears for country, kith and kin ratchet up and up and up?   
That the threats, cover-ups, rank corruption, engineered cruelty, environmental rollbacks, incessant saber rattling, endless stream of firings and forced resignations, the use of lies and cries of "fake news!" as shields against necessary questions and unflattering news stories result in a rolling contagion of new lows that inevitably are exceeded by new new lows.  
I stupidly thought it would take some effort to surpass the Trump administration policy separating children from their immigrant parents.  But then came the secret order to discharge immigrants in the armed forces suddenly and falsely deemed security risks before they have served long enough to qualify for expedited naturalization. 
How to top that? 
It came in only a fortnight as Trump -- he of the peculiar hair, sagging chins, elephantine scowl and deathly pallor -- groveled at Vladimir Putin's feet in what quickly and appropriately became known as the Surrender Summit, the details of which are a state secret as closely held as the Pentagon's nuclear codes.  This was followed by an encore presentation of the Witch Hunt Follies, with strip-mall lawyers Rudy Giuliani and Alan Dershowitz on tuba and harmonica, and another round of attacks on the intelligence and law enforcement officials who see Putin for who he is. 
So here are my nominees for Totally Unexpected:
The defection of a family member, either Ivanka or Donald Jr., shatters Trump. 
A news media bombshell on Trump so powerful that it provokes mass Republican defections.
And (drum roll, please) Putin's kompromat on Trump is revealed, and it is devastating.
Feel free to make your own nominations.  And make sure you're not downstream when that bag of shit bursts. 


Carol said...

Like the hopeful slant! A trifecta would be OK, too.

Anonymous said...

You are so eloquent in your fury. You take my breath away.

Bag of shit bursting ... him. He has a sudden heart attack, stroke or a paralyzing accident. A health crisis might be Totally Unexpected but then again, we KNOW he's not the healthiest President ever.

Dan Leo said...

I like the "totally unexpected" option too. After all, so many of the absurdities of the Trumpocracy have been totally unexpected that we tend to forget about them after a few weeks – remember Scaramucci? But one thing I think we can accept as true (and I speak as one who loves to "read Breitbart News" – which really means reading the comments there), and that is that his base will never abandon him. That hardcore 30% is rock-solid.

Anonymous said...

My guesses on "totally unexpected" (which is a misnomer since, at this point, there is virtually nothing that would really surprise me short of Trump telling the country that this was all a charade):

1. Trump orders a strike against a country w/o notifying Congress and the Joint Chiefs tell him to take a hike.

2. Trump finds a way to fire Mueller, who then leaks everything he has to the Democrats, causing civil war.

3. Russia invades Estonia/Lithuania/Hungary/someplace else and Trump simply allows it regardless of NATO (or other) treaty status. Congress impeaches him and orders the Joint Chiefs to send in our military.

4. N. Korea obliterates Seoul S.K. (no matter how Trump responds)

5. Trump sends troops into Mexico (regardless of the reason given).

RC said...

There should be a prize for whoever eventually gets it right.

Ed said...

"Dream On"

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dusk to dawn

Isn't that the way?
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

Yeah, I know nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

Half my life's in books' written pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
You know it's true
All the things come back to you

Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

Dream on, dream on, dream on,
Dream yourself a dream come true
Dream on, dream on, dream on,
Dream until your dreams come true

Anonymous said...

Eric gets a DNA test to prove he too has 'good genes'. That gets entered into a database, searched by police in an cold case murder, and it's found to be guess who. And to add irony, the murder was a shooting on 5th Ave.

Shaun Mullen said...

Love it!