Thursday, October 16, 2008

Quotes From Around Yon Blogosphere

Glamour is an illusion, but that doesn't mean it's entirely untrue. It reveals something true about what we desire and, in doing so, may point us in the direction of what we might become. It may open up some imaginative space in which we can consider new options, rather than feeling entirely trapped. Sometimes escape and transformation are real possibilities, if only we can find ways to act realistically on the suggestions contained in our fantasies. At other times, imaginative escape is better than no escape at all. Anne Frank posted glamour shots of movie stars on the walls of her hidden room.

New York's financial crisis has spawned some absurd theories, the silliest of which concern our sex lives. Recently, an Ivy League sociologist tried to convince Slate's more gullible readers that high-end prostitutes might actually benefit from the Wall Street meltdown. Over at the Daily News, we learn that sex addiction -- a notoriously hard ailment to define -- is "on the rise" because the Dow is dipping.

This alleged increase doesn't really make sense to me. The men described in this report just sound like ordinary urban males who become more aware of their usual cravings when they can't afford to see an escort or visit a strip bar. The simplest explanation is often accurate, but try telling that to so-called experts.

Just because your body wants what your wallet can't have, does this mean you're now a sex addict?

-- TRACY QUAN

Joan Didion wrote that she came to regard her enemy, migraine, as a friend. Susan Sontag pointed out that describing illness with military metaphors has certain failings, not the least of which is to make ill people feel defeated. I don't hold with making an ally of migraine, but I will grant you that the first day after the enemy decamps is a Red Letter Day. Today I am so full of vim and vigour that it seems a shame to waste all that energy on work. (Sadly I have so much to catch up on, I’ll have to.) The world is a bright, clear and shiny place today, even if my 401(k) is worth 53% less than what I've spent on it. So be it. Feeling like this, I could work until I’m 106, rather like that cheery nun who hasn’t cast a vote since Eisenhower, and who's thrown her veil in the ring for Obama.

Forget everything you’ve heard about frankness, sharing your feelings, getting him to express his. New research into the male mind makes it clear that discussion may be the fastest way to shut down communication. (Oh, you noticed that, have you?)

In a recent experiment, captive primates were able to identify photos of their acquaintances' rears and match them with the right faces.

The ability suggests that the animals possess mental "whole body" representations of other chimps they know.

Each participating chimp was flashed a picture of another's bum, with visible genitals, then shown the face of the derriere's owner and another face of the same gender.

Both males and females were successful in this anatomical match game, pairing faces and posteriors with much greater frequency than chance alone—but only if the photos showed chimps they already knew.

There's a saying that "the most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves" and if you've ever been an addict or engaged in the multitude of self-destructive behaviours available to modern men, I reckon you might nod when you read those ten words.

The bars in this prison are not much to look at, usually just a set of bad habits but sure as a steel cage, many of us can't step beyond them.

The alcoholic, like the cheating husband, the shoplifter or gambler knows his misery is caused by monotonously repeated acts, yet he persists and his frustration with himself often leads to other destructive behaviours so he can forget about the first set of stuff ups.

Then there's all those "what ifs" in our lives - the better job, the dreams of wealth, the fabulous wife, the university degree or boy's own adventure that we put off forever because we tell ourselves we're too busy, too fat or too stupid - more bars in the prison ...

Psychiatrist Gordon Livingston makes the observation that "there is nothing more pointless, or common, than doing the same things and expecting different results" or, as one of my mates used to say, "if you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got."

You see this ring true time and time again with pissheads who say they can just have "one or two" drinks or "social" smokers who still manage to carve through a pack or two a week and wonder why their fitness never improves.

Not learning from our mistakes also plays out in intimate relationships, with friends and family and those whom we chose to partner with - which is why the failure rate for second marriages is even higher than it for first.

-- SAM de BRITO

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