Sunday, September 09, 2007

Yo, Kyla: Your 15 Minutes of Fame Are Up

Allow me to offer a modest prediction: Kyla Ebbert will rue the day that she made a big deal out of being taken aside by a Southwestern Airlines employee at a San Diego airport when she tried to board a flight to Tuscon because she had the temerity to wear a tank top and short skirt in 100-degree weather.

If you're not hip to the tabloid sensation of the moment, the employee told the 23-year-old bottle blonde, who is waitressing at Hooters so she can attend college to become a marine biologist or something, that her dress was "inappropriate"and asked her to change.

(Back in the day, didn't Playboy centerfolds always want to become marine biologists?)
Miss Ebbert agreed to adjust her sweater to better protect her meal ticket, er . . . bazooms from scrutiny and was allowed to board the flight because she had no luggage and therefore no handy nun's habit or berka to change into.

As you may know, Southwest is a no-frills airline, so it doesn't carry wardrobes on its planes like upscale restaurants that provide jackets and ties for gentlemen who stumble in from the 19th hole wearing open-collar shirts.
Not content to let this silliness stand, Miss Ebbert went on the Today show with her mother and lawyer to exercise her constitutional rights and demand that Southwestern offer an apology, which is the likely prelim to a lawsuit and . . . well, a photo spread in Playboy.

Isn't that how it's supposed to work?

We do know that Miss Ebert was wearing panties for her network television debut -- white panties, in fact -- which she flashed as she sat down for a hard-hitting Matt Lauer interview. Just kidding. About the hard hitting.
Lauer made his nut through tough questioning of lawyers and sundry other folk involved in the O.J. Simpson murder case and trial, but he was a pussy cat with Miss Ebbert and didn't even ask her what all America wants to know: Whether she was wearing a bra and panties when she tried to board the flight.

Come on, Matt!
About that regretting the whole thing thing: Miss Ebert was flying to Tuscon for a doctor's appointment, which begs the question: Why? To get her oil changed? To have a mole on her You Know What removed? To take a physical for the Peace Corps?

America wants to know that, too. Hell, it needs to know. And you can be sure it will soon or later.
As well as everything else tastless and humiliating about Miss Ebert that her 15 minutes of fame will never offset.
Photo by Chrissy Pascual/San Diego Union-Tribune

1 comment:

The Platypus said...

I saw her story on the local news and their picture was better. I think the problem wasn't so much that she was revealing too much as it was that her fashion sense was criminal. As for Playboy, I'd forget about that. She's too ugly for anything but the lowest of the back shelf spanker mags.