'The Loneliest Man In Washington'

35th of 45 excerpts from Lincoln by David Herbert Donald:

Battered from all sides, Lincoln grew deeply despondent. In February [1863], a close observer noted that "his hand trembled . . . and he looked worn and haggard," felt that the President was "growing feeble." Admiral John A. Dahlgren, a frequent visitor to the White House, recorded in his diary on February 6, "I observe that the President never tells a joke now." When the Massachusetts abolitionist Wendell Phillips spoke of Lincoln's chances for a second term, the President replied, "Oh, Mr. Phillips, I have ceased to have any personal feeling or expectation in that matter, -- I do not say I never had any, -- so abused and borne upon as I have been."

Constantly surrounded by bureaucrats, civilian and military job applicants, and sightseers, he was the loneliest man in Washington. After [Orville Hickman] Browning was defeated for the Senate, Lincoln had no personal friends in the Congress. Of the cabinet members he most enjoyed [William] Seward, with whom he liked to exchange stories, but these two men, who first met when they were both adults and prominent politicians, never confided their deepest feelings to each other.

From Mary he no longer received much emotional support. Still dressed in mourning, she grieved for Willie, and on the anniversary of his death in February, she again felt brokenhearted. "Only those, who have passed through such bereavements, can realise, how the heart bleeds at the return of these anniversaries," she wrote Mrs. Gideon Welles. Refusing to let Willie's memory go, she consorted with spiritualists, notably one Nettie Colburn, who she thought put her in communication with her son's spirit. Perhaps as many as eight séances were held in the White House itself. Lincoln attended one, but he was not convinced. . . .

There were few entertainments or diversions at the White House now. An exception was a hastily arranged reception for "General Tom Thumb" (Charles Sherwood Stratton) and his bride, who had just been married on February 10 in New York. Mary apparently staged the affair out of a sense of duty, but the President thoroughly enjoyed it, bending down from his six-foot-four-inch height to talk gravely with his three-four-four-inch guest.